To Her Health

Martin are you there?

Yes Harriet, I’m always here.

I have a lump, Martin.

What do you mean a lump, dear? What kind of lump?

They’re not sure. I went to the doctors a few days ago and I have to wait for the test results. I’m so scared of cancer.

Don’t worry Harriet. I have it on good authority that you’re not joining me any time soon.

Authority? Who’s authority, Martin?

Well….not really an authority. Just me…a hunch.

Bah! You’re dead. I don’t know what you have to hunch about. Don’t be foolish. It is what it is. We’ll see.

Harriet, I know you and I know this brashness is your fear talking. I wish I could lend you my shoulder to lean on.

I don’t need a shoulder. I need a good stiff drink. I need…. there’s the telephone. Maybe that’s the doctor….

Martin, he says it’s nothing! I’m SO relieved.

Me too, Darling. Break open the liquor cabinet and lets have a toast.

What’ll you have Martin? Hmmm? Irish Mist?

Oh very droll Harriet. Very droll indeed. A body can dream can’t they?

Well if you had a body, maybe it could dream.

Yes, very droll, you and your lump. Pour me a scotch anyway, just for old times sake.

Alright Martin, this once I’ll humour you and pour you a drink. I’ll end up drinking it anyway, which is the bonus.

I’m glad everything came out fine Harriet. You know I love you.

Yes Martin, Me, too. I’m not ready to be on the same plane of existence with you again yet.

You’re an evil woman. You know that, don’t you.

Yes, yes I do.